More and more couples are rocked by one partner having an emotional affair. When one person in the relationship has an friendship that seems to cross the line, it can be even more devastating to the other partner because the inappropriate relationship was based on emotional closeness rather than sex.

Following are some suggestions on how to get past an emotional affair.

Have an Honest Discussion

Couples need to come to a point of understanding regarding emotional affairs. The partner engaged in the affair may not understand why his or her relationship was inappropriate. A frank discussion about why a close friendship with someone other than one’s partner needs to be had, with both parties talking openly and honestly about their feelings.

Determine the State of the Relationship

Affairs don’t happen out of the blue. Emotional affairs are especially tough because the illicit relationship is built on a strong friendship. When one partner looks to someone besides his or her significant other as the main source of emotional companionship, it means the couple will need to determine why they stopped being friends.

Seek Professional Counseling

A licensed therapist will be able to act as the guide to discuss feelings and help stay on track. Often emotional affairs bring out many issues the couple may have had over the years, and it’s important to have an impartial third party to help referee arguments as well as guide the couple back to a place of healing.

Give it Time

The trust that was lost because of the emotional affair needs to be rebuilt. Unfortunately, this can take a considerable amount of time. One partner may say he or she will not engage in inappropriate behavior again, but the only way to make it up to the other partner is by example.

Unlike a traditional tryst, an emotional affair involves a complex relationship based on friendship. Oftentimes the cheating pair work together or see each other in social settings. It is sometimes difficult to get the physical distance needed to truly end the affair and move on.

It’s important to note that emotional affairs may end only when one of the parties changes his or her behavior toward the other person. The cheating partner cannot expect to continue a normal friendship with the other person once the line has been crossed. Emails must discontinue, secret phone calls must stop, and any other activity done with the person must end.